Archive for September, 2011

back then,

i rode infront of my dads bike. hes the one riding it. behind was my mom. during those time, there still no rule forbidding people to ride motorcycle at the limits of two. and yes, alpha angle is a vague place to visit that time. Still no one utama, no mid valley. never heard of the gardens and the curve yet. Thats the most luxurious place nearby that my family keep on bringing me to, and also the place where ive lost the most. i love looking on things that amaze me .Anything that startled me, like the television with 32″ screen, i will stop, look and start dreaming when will our home own this TV.Because of this leisure attitude, i often lost.
But still even if I’m lost, i won’t cry. My dad and my mom will surely found the missing me and then patter some loud babbles when they found me. abg guard  just laugh at me tht time. Indeed, i am really friendly back then. i love to befriend with  almost everyone tht i’ve met, and off course keen to impress everybody.=.=,

dad’s bought our family first car when he picked me up at my baby sitter house located in wangsa maju. Only god know how  deluging and blissful i am tht time. its a light blue proton saga with plat number wbk 2020.  Onthat date, i am still a pugnacious little  mischievous kid that hardly listen to adivices and words, plus I enjoy being poignant over trivial matters.
FOr a 5 year old dude,
i think, i am very strong .Yes, I hardly cry, but frequently sulk.
i wonder if  that little mischievous ikhwan is still somewhere in me now?

||.. still  reminiscing ..||

On the year of 1998,
i had transfered to SKTM 2, which is about 500m walk from my house.( I went to sktm one on my 1st year of primary school before.This school located about 5 km from my house.Lots of things happen, so my parent choose to send me to another school which is nearer to my house)

-what happen? i had walked home alone, from school to home because the bus didn’t come and fetch me about 5-6 times. I also had tried to ride a city bus[intrakota] and lost my way in the big city of Kuala Lumpur, just because i wanted to go to my mum office.( oh, i lived with my bro when we still a primary school kids.Both my parents works and come back home around 8 for my mom and around 12 for my dad)

Maybe, because i remain intact with positive people, acting sanguine with people arround me, i tempted to be quite a pompous and snobbish of a kid. well,
every rich kids love to befriend with me.why? perhaps I’m the connector. I set up relationhsip for others, and I know everybody in my batch(about 360 students) and unlike many other student from the 1st class , i didn’t judge and being haughty of my standard. I make friends with almost everyone.

I am clever at a moderate level for a 1st class student on my third year( its in 1999,darjah 3 la sng cite.) . I’ve attended pts, but failed. The reason of my failure is because , on that time, I don’t know what the hell pts was .  My homeroom teacher curtly choose me from a few others to attend a test, in a room. If i am not mistaken, its in bilik panitia matematik . As I finished, that is when know what test i am attending myself to. Its  a test for a speacial leaping program . Pts help u to leap from  darjah 3 class  to darjah 5  class by skipping darjah 4  class for the next coming year. Eventhough i have failed, I did not feel that desperate. But  since i love to impress others, ive lost some point to brags ‘humbly’ about that successes but still, i care less on that .Why? because positively,
i think there’s still other chances to proof who i am- i mean to impress others.(Oh, i just cant help it. =_=”)
.And indeed, On the later years, break dance and hip hop start to emerge as a trend in my school!-i found this matter is a big news to me, so that i can brag to my brother that i can do things he can’t! lol.

front flip, back flip,  side flip, side roll, helicopter, windmill.
thats wht the pro’s can do.That time,  a few( of my pals) quickly become famous with the girls because they have something to do with breakdance.
well yeah,
I join them quite late, so I am not that savvy about breakdance.
Any good looking kids( cute and a little bit lanky for a primary schooler, which can do on air front flip which people address them as dope- that time i also dont know wht the hell is dope). i am a torpid learner in this art of dancing,but still, i manage to  learn some simple stunt like a front flip and air flip.  In year 6, I already able to do a stunt called ‘windmill”.
tht is jst until a misfortune strike me, resulting to strains on my left ankle, left thumb of my left leg, and my left wrist . Since then, i have stopped break dancing, deliberately.


I dont practice  any extreme sport. i cant play any muscial instruments. I do not study oversea, and off course not that skillful in soccer or futsal, just a moderate player.
let say, I am living normal life.
Always regret on things that ive done.
I made many mistakes, Ive stumbled , I fall, and I turn awry in limbo.

Just until last ramdhan, i realized what is the thing that i lack the most.
I seldom rely things on Him. I only blame everything to nature, myself and others.

I run from my religions and falters on my faith.


I need to change.


p/s: 6th pillars of iman- have faith in Qada’ and Qadar)



this is the current list of books im reading. need to finish it all before falls end.

next will be robert fisk 1000+ pge of books.

hopefully everything goes well. (:

As i trot the hallway of kl sentral terminal, my eyes startled at the center of the hall where several old books(not so old, published around a decade ago) being sold for a cheap price. there’s tons of good books with great author being mentioned there inside the baskets of books. off curse there’s other baskets of cooking books, and magazines but that kind of books is something i don’t have any interest at.

what grab my intention was this three books:

1) As I please by Saleh ben Joned

2) Sam’s Story byElmo Jayawardena( A rising authors of sri lanka’s)


3) …err i forgot the title already. T_T”

as for the 2 books mentioned, ive bought both of them at a price of RM10.00, which is a very great deal for me as a newly-born bookworm.

the 1st is a compilation of a sensational witty and sardonic authors talking about malaysia, its cultures, the typicality of the Malays writer, and several more gossiped stories which make people of tht day accuse and allege him being apostate, talking sensitive matters about religious values, some misconducts and conservative ideas about simple things; which somehow rousing a delicate and hot issues tht pullulate in 1991.

the 2nd, tell about community and humanism. i did not read or skim through the book yet, even the preface. but the back cover do briefly explain some of the contents. and i surely hope, the contents will content me.

after having mee rebus for my breakfast at bts, i shoot to mid valley.there, i escalate to the 2nd floor where an it fair is exhibited. i purchase an mp3 there at a price of 29.90 ringgit, and get the hell off from tht hectic and crowded place filled with techno-freaks.(well, im super noob when it comes to technology and all those avant-garde stuffs and all) as my real intention is to see any good books at mph bookstore9see, im really turning myself into a book-freaks(actually english and psychology freaks to put it precisely). and there in mph, i took a sneak peek at hitler mein kampf, 3rd chapter: Political reflections arising out of my soujorn in Vienna.

in tht particular chapter, theres a little sub-stories on joseph II, german dual monarchy or notoriously known as herrenhaus which define how the austria falls and all. mein kampf was written by hitler while he is imprisoned in buraria fortress, and ironically this book state the most cringing state of hitlers, which make this book is banned in germany.
a side notes ive chanced to jot is regarding hitlers views about democracy. he stated tht:

democracy as practiced in western europe to day is the fore runner of marxism. In fact, the latter would not be conceivable without the former.
Democracy is the breeding granted in which the bacilli of marxicity was born.

i also able to take a views over Robert fisk testaments, as well as mahatma gandhi books and his picture when he’s a 20 yrs old dude with a mustache like mr.potato. His face looks a little like anil kapoor at some degree.

After sighting and flipping through some books, dictionary on the shelves of mid valley mph, ive decided to buy the tipping point of malcolm gladwell. before buying this book, i have some dilemma in choosing between harpers lee:  to kill a mockingbird and mitch albom: have a little faith. After cerebrate for some minutes, i choose to buy this book. i hope it wirth my choice. (since on my way from klang, ive read his blink on snap judgment and thin slicing (again) and somehow its compelling. maybe, by reading his preceded books, his affection affect me a little, or so.

at 1545H,while waiting for the train to come, a turkish from istanbul come and sit beside me. Maybe because he see me reading an english books, hes tempted to have a chat with me, by introducing himself. Saed is a high school leaver from istanbul, coming here to malaysia to attend an english course from ELS. He planned to further his studies at the private air school in Langkawi, after he meets certain qualification as being highlighted in the application forms (which we can see it if we google it at

he asked where might be the location of jln sri combak, where shamefully i tell him i dont know, but actually after thinking it for a while when im on my way back to klang after transits myself from kl sentral to the 5th platfrom(tht is when me ,Saed and Hairullah separated) , the location of the place his heading is actually near my previous hometown, since the postcode is 53100. I wonder why i am so silly and blurry tht time.

Saed did told me and show me the price he need to pay for the registration and fees for his course which from a skim through at his resits, it show an amount on RM10200 for intermediate course. and to advance his learning to the next stage, he need to pays about 2050 more. He did ask me if the fees is moderate and not expensive, but i just dont know the actual range for a course like that. So, as a fellow malaysian , i frankly tell him the fees is moderate and normal for a foreigner like him.

psst: i jst know tht we cant copy and jot any notes from the books we read at mph bookstore. we can ONLY READ it but we cant plagiarize it contents at all, even my noting some simple facts. why? dont know ive being scold by the receptionist there for doing so. ;’(.

P/S: Vocabulary for today:

lucid: clear and easy to understand

sardonic: making cynical of sth

pullulate: spread as to be widespread; to spread as in means of geomteric progression

cringing: to fawn, to behave affectionately.

ambivalent: having mixed feeling between two opposing choices

incorrigible: to bad as if impossible to correct

incisive: shown clear thought, as being cool-headed and can react cleverly over a cases or scenario.

limpy: not firm.sot strong,

flabby: lacking strength and determination, 2; excessive fat; flaccid

elucidate: make sth easier to understand

avant-garde- make sth easier to understand.


1st eye: i need.

Posted: September 2, 2011 in Uncategorized

i need to make things simple. i tend to live my life for other expectation previously, and i realize that is somehow wasteful.

i need to change for the  better, which is to realize first and admit, second.

how i see things from this world shows how i evaluate things from my own sight.

that is why, i created this page. to record my doings, my attitude, how do i change. and to be true to myself.

let say, this is where i reflect myself. my mistakes, my faults, things to be remorse, and things to set up, for the sake of my future.

there indeed lots of things to jot down here, which i really hope tht at every turning point of my life, i will open up this site and read up every single little things tht popped up on my mind.

1st thing to reflect as of today is:

i love english. as simple as tht.  I don;t speak with my family using englsih at all, but still, i simply jst love this language. why?

because most books, which have eclectic views and knowledges of many things always translated in this language. literally, ive practiced much , but verbally i seldom talk and have a chat with others. next, because those native users of this language tend to show a good attitude, calibers as a human beings who god have sentenced to the earth to be its caliphate.

enough babble. enough ranting. no need to spites bickers for this petty matter anymore. since, as to this points, all things tht initially i would love to talk about (literally) have gone void. simply, lost. enuffsaid.