5th eye: What is Love?

Posted: October 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

I sensibly thought that, based from theory and some little experiences, i can already understand love, and can define it perfectly.
sadly, i’m wrong.

I started to listen these synapses  and syllables of shady’s spaz, and i find out that, my definitions have tons of flaws.

I care to say it out loud that i don’t want any lover at all, but deep inside, there’s actually a part of me that remain latent, as i don’t know how to voice it out, loud. Let say,   I think, i assume, i predict, that i have this feeling of what the dictionary call ‘affections’ towards others, but from time to time, i realize that feelings somehow is just momentary.

Stanzas by stanzas, I listen, and i cater my ears need,
All the lyrics spitted and shouted and growled, and screamed, I listen and link it to my brain.
There, i connect it to my soul, and my heart.
I’ve stumbled twice( i think) and  I seems to only stand back on my own, once and reached by my bro’s hand, once.

and to think that, i still need to reach my hand to them,and from that point, i  am able to be what I am now, although previously i keep on shitting myself saying, im a soullessloner and all other bullshits, i start to ponder….

“what is love? what is love? what is love?”

And until now, it is undefined.

As for now, things like optimism is out of my league. Why is that?
well, previously i didn’t realize and still keep this ego of mine inside of me,
saying that I don’t judge, and i doesn’t care at all.
but the truth is, i lied.
deep inside, i still blaming my past, my choices in life, others who i had involve my life with, and that tremendous regrets that happen to turn me upside down.

TO settle my self over that exaggerated self-proclaimed personality, i choose to talk less, and tell more.
‘From my eye, i define’-indeed.
but deep in my heart, i just describe it out, and hopefully  i can remains this treats, unchanged.

YES, hopefully. i don’t want to self-proclaim myself anymore. I need to be more sincere.

A fighter, a true one,
a hero, the true one-
i always believe that they give others motivations from
their acts, their words, their shared knowledge and from the affections that flows onto others heart because of their sincerity.
“Sedate, calm, alleviate.”
they are synonyms. To achieve these, I need to change, where I need to remain silent at time,  and share my opinions with the others at times.
Stop bullshittings . Lagha.

‘You see??”

This is how I am thinking right now. No ‘love’ is defined at all. Ain’t that mean, I am indeed not ready to affect my self to one?
Allah knows best.

I don’t exactly know what is the exact definition of ‘love’
but still, i do understand that i need my friends and families.
Not to depend my life on them, but to share my problems and listen to theirs,

so that ,
we can learn,
from our mistakes, and from their mistakes.
we can remind each others,
about our flaws and repeated mistakes.

and that is my definition of “sharing’.

This is my eye. and this is the 5th observations of life that i think i need to jot down here, so that i can remind myself if i tend to make mistakes. whether it is a repeated mistakes, or a new one.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s