Archive for January, 2012

aku nak kata apa-apa?

Posted: January 18, 2012 in Uncategorized

pusaka ilmu pada keturunan bangsa,
legasi awal dari islam pasaknya.
jatuh ke rumpun melayu,tempelak jiwa ada rodanya,
diputar ke hadapan sampai la ni,
hangpa tgk lah sendiri apa dah jadi dngn sketsa muda mudi?!

catur baku ku cantas dngn sandiwara bahasa w,
kutelan hidup-hiudp nafas berbau hambar, ku cekik sampai mati warna jambu mati,
gerangan simfoni utara, gelagat kurang geliga, lipan hijau tidak dijaga,
pintu dan kerusi dilanggar laju,
history repeated, malays tuju melayu, atas gelangang darah yg sama tempat tumpahnya,
sengketa berangkara gila-gila.

tidak dipuaka, tidak tersangka, dilemma melayu kita sudah kukira ,
dngn sistem congak abacus petala ke dua puluh tiga.
sifir lima ku tibai sampai tiga puluh tiga,
lompat atas buaian, sampai jatuh atas nipah,
rakyat buat gelagat sampah,
samurai melayu libas pelepah,
sekali lompat, dua kali cantas, 3 kali mencarut-marut,
cis, bedebah!

kau sambung sendiri.


i wake up silly,
i lay down on the sofa infront of my tv,
i use the remote and change the channel,
from tv3 to mtv.

while the songs keep moving on,
i cant let go myself from pondering last night call,
i share many things, and i said many things,
u make me happy as my brains flocked and later stall.

then again, that picture of me depicted in a shadowed forest,
i howl as that means i deplore,
emptiness by the sake of my own verdict,
the clemency in between rage and inner peace.

i like you very much , as i told my self,
but to be true, its not something as simple as that for my believe and my soul,
i might hide certain things, and deceiving with care,
insidious quizzical desire, are pain that cant withstood iced fire.

i can be good with some, i can be generous with some,
but that annoying you can somehow sooth me up,
alleviating my thought of emptiness in the chasm of dungeon of secrecy,
let say if i delve to deep in this liquid of fear of emotional affection,

ill stumble down, and there’s be no salvation coming at all.
everything will go deeper and darker, as the lights will turn dimmer and shun close.
soullessloner i am,
until that times come, i shall never come to confess.

i am good at waiting, i hope you are too. yy.

you are to elegant

Posted: January 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

please don’t seduce me.
in a way too much for me, then to be mesmerized.

i might bite.

this is another version of human alter- ego. how with some readings and some practice, i come out with this basic conclusion.

for me its not subtle, and verily conspicuous.
in some particular sets of emotion turbulence, people tend to react and act abruptly.
those changes, we must anticipate it before its deteriorate .

1. hiding words with words: to be precise, short sentences of words that defines turbulence can we reckon such change?
simply by looking at the structure and tone fluctuations of that words. there are high probability that they will stress their tones aloud, or just turning mute ,and avoid further swings. which is when, the first choice can be handled yet by loved one, but for the second part,
it will be something perplexing worth taking time to solve. it might be subtle, but once worsen, it will be quite dangerous.

2. fluctuation of tones in voice ft. their frowning percentage: let say, high voices normally indicate anger. but those who want to stress out their POV, will surely manage themselves with some cues. let say certain can still control their tones, but rarely can control their degrees of frowning. u can sense that sudden change, u can tell when might be the turning point of that emotion.

3. justification through lies: 5 minutes of reasoning,if plausible enough, they can avoid provocations and any malicious build-up scheme.  well, this is somehow quite complicated, where i sensibly thought that credulous believer trust these lies often. if its on arguments on something serious, like politics, theories, hypothesis with certain unsettled inferens, people might have a cery hard time to settle down such arguments. let say, if not incisive enough, people will fight over some triffling matters at all.

yes, its only takes 5 minutes.

ill observe more. since somehow, with certain someone, its annoying to let  your guts  down, since to deceive certain can only happen when you successfully deceive all.

thats mean, if i want to examine and discern everything with lack flamboyance, as to make it brief,  such delicacies( as how it is intended), are an obligation, to be made both concise and precise.

that is what, i believe.

Answer for below question:

Posted: January 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

its sucks to be in love if you are not committed.
plus, u need adequate knowledge, cashes, and patience to be one good lover.

i want to be the best.

so, whatever the mood swing might be, 
need to stand still, and hold firm with this resolve.
admitting to everyone comments is submissive and timid.

im done.
so better get moving!

im really at my sharpest and best point of my life . every time im home. 
i read crazily,
i memorize hardly,
and i laugh out loudly.

and i can sedate myself in my pray.
no to brag, but i love my family and the environment and people here.

klang is not that bad afterall. 


To love someone….

Posted: January 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

is it like…

that blissful?

i wonder.


what people judge almost, always:

1) fair skin, slender body, big boobs, round eye , pink lips = beautiful lady
2)  white/ tanned skin, muscled body, tall, and dimples = that is one macho man, i tell ya.

typicality that hard to persist. i swear to Allah, i cant also run from this norms.
yet, ive tried and struggled to do so, and Alhamdulillah, more days had passed, and the way i define beautiful,

had narrowed, and not in between the conduct of physical appearance anymore.

how, why?

ive experienced something awful. so i learned from my mistakes,
and other mistakes as well.

but yet, i’m still searching for the best, thus my effort to make myself the best must also….

well, you know.

tangible, which is the ability to touch.they’re not subtle, and not prevailed in veils.

here’s my points:

1) words: discuss ideas, projecting voices, fluctuated by tones and desires. mostly become affectionate to those who love to be caress. yes, WOMANs are weak against words. Realizing this, and understand all the skills to do so, i choose to not flirt. it’s disgusting, and i am not romantic.

2)songs : the music, the lyrics and the melodies. Such tangibility to discuss the reaction of those fluids in your mind, and souls. what more, if there’s a music video that can portray such occasions that can be related to those songs. something expected will happen.

tears fall. your mood  swings. and later u cant handle despair and sorrow.
growl: shouting everything out with your voice. a method of screaming.
screech; i hate that. its pitch is too high. and its annoying.

3) pictures : when tagged with certain words. u’ll start imagining things, and later dictate those pictures in a form of slideshow. your own imagination will revolves in and out producing a 3D in your medula oblongata ( a part in your brain). you sleep, and you dream.

4) Style and personalities : friendship is something u cant buy. but, that’s it. famous guy want to be friend with rich guy. smart guys will hang out with those who follow rules and have a wild thought on those they had labelled the scumbag. Whichever one it is, most will be friends with anybody which can bring them benefits.  thts the typical and mindsets of many. Sometimes i hate myself for seeing this kind of things so easily.

“how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnagie : ive read this, and looking at the readers review, many agreed.
its ironic when i know all the secrets, but never care to practice them.
reasons: its hard to mingle in a crowd and observe people conducts when ur famous. i love to do such things. whenever i smile, thts mean ive got the clues and the cues, and thts it: proven hypothesis , proven inference.”

i will keep on observing everything with these eyes.
note: these eyes. the eyes that see, listen, smell, and those tangible to be understand, to be touch.

beautiful is something subjective. how i define them, is totally complicated. the nexus is perplexing. how i understand things, i dare to say not many will be able to understand them. only the observant and soulless can. those few that are idealistic with ideas and realistic with something proven. no biases.

im a wolf.