when i think of this particular things, however it revolves, i’ll tend to come up to this emotion, again.

Posted: January 5, 2012 in Uncategorized



philophobia, my 1st problem.

2nd, knowledge.

3rd, i dont want people to know me, despite i am a representative and president of certain organizations, advocates and causes.

4th. i listen to hardcore, hard, and groove metals. and sometime melodic. plus, i listen to nasheed.

5. once i have a girl that i like. life’s tuned up side down. i am one fucking jealous guy. but i can  somehow remain silence and will not confide my feelings. i dont know how to give certain hint. so sometimes when i hit that certain her, she might just think of it as a flirt. so…

6th. i care about my nation. i care about the world.

7. I dont know how to explain things directly . i mean, IF i happen to say whatever thought in my mind directly, there will be lotsoff profane words that might come out. so its either i remain silent, or need to ponder and give a deep thought before i say something. 

8. i read history, politic, wars, religious stuff, psychology and magics. so i have a problem with romance. i happen to hate myself being one romantic guy.


9. i cant handle compliments. i know this, and i never come oto a method to make myself able to handle one.  so if i happen to handle some,that mean ive tried my best to pretend. so ill be one fucking hypocrite that time.


10. the best way to deceive your enemies is to deceive your family and friends first. knowing this, ive had a dilemma to mingle with everyone in this society.

11. i can read people lies, non-verbally.  
but i cant handle lverbal lies. i am fucking gullible to lies when it comes to words. thats why i am meticulous with all the articles posted in facebook, blogs and twitter. even in the newspapper and books, i care to analyze all based from eclectic sources.


12.. the last, I’m complicated. there’s TOOO DAMN FUCKING MANY SECRETS DWELLING IN MY HEAD!


i jst ant get rid of it, since its NOT MY FUCKING SECRET. i care to listen TOO MUCH. and i mind to not share anything unrelated with knowledge to no one.

joted all this, now im noted.

NEXT, i need to find a solution for each of this problems i face, which is somehow is not centralized, but have a perplexing nexus.




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